Appreciative Engagement

I think generally, as we grow older or maybe more appropriately as we become more mature our engagement in dialogue becomes less aggressive and more appreciative... well sometimes. I think I've drifted through phases of excitement, anxiety, frustration and disappointment along the path of trying to engage in meaningful dialogue and even now as I may sway to and fro through the mix of vibes depending on the context, I've come to a clear realization about the power of appreciative engagement.

The appreciative engagement context assumes that no one is deliberately malicious, but that because of perceptions, we often place judgments on statements that initiate a downward spiral leading ultimately to meaningless and sometimes bitter dialogue. If we adopt a position of appreciative engagement, then we defer from judging and instead adopt a posture that accepts peacefully and responds positively - but never dishonestly.

The challenge is when the dialogue is itself based on negative or dishonest substance - in which case your responsibility is to be straight up, yet peaceful and appreciative - making it clear that you are not judging, but that you do not condone dishonesty.

+ve vibes,
Mark

Team Value!

If we start with the premise that everyone on your team has great value, then a key role as leader of the team is to facilitate the realization of that potential value. So the question is how do we facilitate that realization... how do we get team members to bring their great value to the table?

Well, if leaders take a position of giving instructions, directives and commands - they'll probably get exactly what they asked for... and most likely nothing more. The challenge with this approach is that the value generated is limited to what the leader brings to the table. On the other hand, if all members of the team were encouraged to come up with ideas, plans, solutions, etc., consider how much more value would be added to the team effort.

Unfortunately, in many instances, people have become so accustomed to following instructions, directives and commands, that even when given the opportunity to bring their ideas, plans and solutions to the table, they still hold back, often awaiting instructions before proceeding.

Leaders who really want to bring out the potential value in their team members may consider adopting an approach where all members of staff are considered leaders... and they are therefore required to make decisions - not just follow orders, instructions, commands. The challenge here is that they may sometimes make the wrong decisions - but that's part of the risk involved in becoming excellent... the other option is to remain ordinary.

Caribbean Value

I had some really great conversations today with my Sport for Development colleagues as we noted that often the Caribbean (and other developing countries) are not recognized for the value that they bring to the global discourse. And of course, this is not unique to the field of Sport for Development. So whenever there are gatherings of regional or international groups, the Caribbean (and other developing countries) are often left out of the dialogue - and/or if we (the Caribbean) are included, we are often relegated to 'beneficiary' status - "Let's show you how you can benefit from the expertise of first world intelligence..."

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that we have nothing to learn from the expertise of the so called first world - all I'm saying is that new knowledge, creative ideas, innovative approaches... are not limited to first world thinkers... and in the past decade or so, I have personally witnessed a significant volume of new and innovative thinking emerging from the Caribbean - particularly in the field of Sport for Development.

So stand up Caribbean people and show your worth... so that the rest of the world may begin to benefit from the value that we add to the global discourse.

+ve vibes,
Mark

The Message of the Cross

Even if you didn't believe in the story of the crucifixion, I'm sure that you'll admit that the message is a powerful one... giving up your life so that others may live...

Of course, that was part of the fulfillment of scripture - that was why He came - that was His purpose...

So what is your purpose... why are you here... and what are you prepared to give to fulfill your purpose?

+ve vibes,
Mark

Release the Power!

Just believe that you can do it... and stop lowering your value... because you have the power inside of you- I know you have it... so just release that power... and start doing amazing things!

+ve vibes,
Mark

You have beautiful eyes..., but your nose is crooked!

Most of us would find it difficult to criticize people we really care about... and unfortunately, even though we may criticize them because we care, most times criticism is not well received - and I suppose, that's a normal human response.

Some years ago, a visiting 'guru' from India had been invited to address a group of my student-teachers and he suggested that if he said ten positive things about them and one negative thing, that they would mainly be concerned about the negative thing.

"So, you've got a really nice personality; and I like your work ethic; you dress really well; and your hair is always well groomed; but your hand writing is a bit untidy..."  My hand writing is untidy - geez!

The guru went on to suggest that not only would we focus on the negative comment, but we would also be inclined to hold it against him. "How dare you tell me about my hand writing!"

So how do we provide feedback about someone's faults? How do I tell my students about their (strengths and) weaknesses without being offensive. Well the guru suggests that before we can criticize someone, we first need to establish a relationship with them. A relationship that is based on respect and sincerity. I like to refer to this relationship as intimate - and depending on the context - professionally intimate.

So build meaningful (professionally) intimate relationships with your students, colleagues... and yes, children!!! Only then, can we become more comfortable about giving and receiving feedback about our faults...

+ve vibes,
Mark

Order - don't cross the border!

Soca artiste Maximus Dan (formally Magadan) is probably best known for his patrotic hit "Soca Warrior" that he sang in support of the T&T football team that went on to qualify for it's first FIFA World Cup in Germany, 2006. Maximus is also well known for his mantra, "Order, don't cross the border" - that he would often interject during his performances to promote his own advocacy for personal and social responsibility.

Unfortunately, the real challenge with today's society is not only in getting people to operate within the 'borders' of acceptable behaviour, but probably more importantly, to more clearly define what is acceptable. So where exactly is the border? What is acceptable and what is not... and who cares... does it really matter? And who determines where the borders are drawn?

Well, consider the dilemma that young people face when different institutions/agencies (schools, religion, politics, family, friends, etc) all present varying interpretations of the "borders". So where do you stand - pro-life or pro-choice; pre-marital sex or not; God or no God; smelter or no smelter...?

And then, just when you've made an informed decision, after you've analyzed as much info as you can - and you choose to stand behind a particular border.... somebody decides to move it! So, now the border is blurry - because even within established institutions, there seems to be a growing trend of 'flexible borders'. Things no longer seem to be clearly right or wrong - so many shades of grey... and we wonder why it's so difficult for our young people to respond to Maximus Dan's cry for order.

+ve vibes,
Mark