Christmas lessons

So every year around this time we get into the Christmas spirit... and even if you're not a Christmas believer, you've got to marvel at the powerful messages that the Christmas story generates. For me, there are two very significant lessons surrounding the Christmas story. The first is the idea of a little baby boy creating such an impact on the entire world... and I think about all of the little things in life that people do that add such great value to our world. Often times we overlook these little special things and so the Christmas story is a reminder that we all have something special to add to this world - no matter how small it may be.

The second lesson for me is about humility - no fancy private hospital - just a simple cow shed... and a reminder to us that wherever we may be placed in this world, whoever we may be, regardless of our rank, qualifications or position..., we are all called to serve and to serve with humility.

May this Christmas bring meaning to your life.

+ve vibes,
Mark

The true value of friendship

So, how do we measure the true value of friendship? At Mark Daly's wake earlier this evening I remembered a funny story when he was playing Championship Football for Fyzo... and his good buddy Charlie was on the receiving end of a head butt to his mouth. Charlie's mouth was severely damaged - losing most of his upper and lower front teeth. I left the game and had to rush Charlie to the hospital. Later that night at the hospital Mark appears walking along the corridor and hands me something wrapped in a paper napkin - it was Charlie's teeth! Mark had gone back to the field after the game, found Charlie's teeth and travelled from Fyzabad to San Fernando to deliver them. I don't remember if Charlie was able to re-insert his teeth - though I know that he had some major dental surgery. I still find it remarkable that Mark would have the presence of mind to go in search of Charlie's teeth and then to actually find them on a football field and deliver them to his buddy - I suppose that this gesture really reflects the value that Mark was as a friend.



+ve vibes,
Mark

Remembering Mark Daly

Many times as teachers and coaches we are credited with shaping and influencing the lives of young people... and sometimes a young person passes through your space and he/she creates a lasting impression... and the roles are reversed as they influence and shape the lives of coaches/teachers... and those with whom they interact. Although I am no longer actively coaching/teaching, I am one of the fortunate teachers/coaches who have had the opportunity to share a space in my life with many beautiful young people - students who made me think, grow, learn, love...

Today I write this blog with much sadness in my heart on the passing of a true gem of a young man. I had the opportunity to teach and coach Mark Daly when he entered Fyzabad Composite School around age 12. Mark was an outstanding athlete, representing the school at volleyball, basketball and Championship Division football. I remember him being involved in drama as well..., but it was his everlasting smile and his peaceful disposition that won him gold medals among those with whom he interacted.

Mark was any coach's dream athlete... and when I coached the National Junior volleyballers in 1997, I literally begged Mark to try out for the team - he was hesitant as the training clashed with his preparations for CXC exams... but he made the sacrifice and travelled with the team to Barbados for the Inaugural Caribbean Junior Championships - he came off the bench then, but later would be a starting player on the National Senior team... and eventually team captain!

Mark continued his education and was again my student - this time at UWI as he began his tertiary education in sport... and I continued to learn from him. At the time of his death, Mark was enrolled in the Bachelors Degree in Sport Studies at UTT... working with the Ministry of Sport and studying part-time.

Today I thank God for blessing us with this beautiful person who no doubt would have influenced and shaped many lives through the way he lived... and loved.

God bless your beautiful soul Mark - let perpetual light shine upon you and may you rest in peace...

+ve vibes,
Mark

Too much $$$ for schools football

Earlier this year, a past student of my alma mater (Presentation College) wrote a couple of articles in the local newspaper chastising the College and the Past Students Association for spending too much money on football - his articles were actually in response to a request for support going out to all past students from the Past Students Association. His argument was essentially that there seemed to be too much emphasis (and use of resources) on the football programme... at the expense of other potentially valuable educational activities.

Well there are many things that I want to say about this, but I'll limit my response to two items. The first is that the main purpose of the college (and schools in general) is about preparing young people for life - and although academic knowledge is of obvious value, it only represents a limited dimension of development. Sport (and music and the creative arts) remain a powerful medium for the development of many dimensions of life, primarily because of the authentic environment that each presents - an environment that can easily facilitate the entire spectrum of real life - both positive and negative - including cooperative behaviours associated with team work; discipline and perseverance; problem solving and strategic/tactical thinking; development of healthy lifestyles; etc. (Many of these experiences are not easily facilitated in the traditional academic classes). So the real issue is why aren't we providing more resources/opportunities for (more) students to participate in meaningful, well-organized sport (and music and creative arts) programmes.

The second point is in regard to the perceived disparity in the allocation of resources within the school system. The main reason that the PSA has to beg for funds for the football programme is because the bulk of funding allocated to schools (directly and indirectly) supports academic programming - these costs include facilities for teaching, salaries for academic teachers who make up more than 90% of the staff, etc. Academic programmes also take up the bulk of space (classrooms/labs) and time... and then after sitting through a day of academic programming, students are often sent off for after-school 'extra lessons'... with yet more funding (and time) being spent on academic programming (in this case mainly at the expense of parents). So, if there is indeed any imbalance, it surely weighs heavily in favour of traditional academic programmes.

So let's be clear - well organized sport programmes provide authentic, meaningful and valuable learning experiences for young people... and although there is significant research that supports this, we continue to focus on traditional academic education... at the expense of meaningful, authentic and valuable life-long learning experiences through sport. The Presentation College Past Students Association is doing its part to provide these experiences - hopefully others will recognize the value of their efforts and join the campaign so that more young people may benefit.

+ve vibes,
Mark

Recognizing value

This past week I've been involved in a seminar/workshop focused on developing international coaching education standards (ICES) for coaches who work at the community level. One of the valuable statements coming out of one of the sessions relates to the concept that everyone has some potential value. Sometimes it may be difficult for us to recognize that value because of our personal biases; past experiences (with the individual); misperceptions; or just plain ignorance.

When we fail to recognize/appreciate the value in other people, we limit their potential for growth and development. As leaders/co-workers/colleagues, we have a responsibility to not only recognize the value in others, but to also provide meaningful opportunities for them to develop their potential value.

The Trinidad and Tobago Alliance for Sport and Physical Education (TTASPE) takes this one step further - in addition to recognizing and appreciating the value of people and providing opportunities for development, TTASPE works in collaboration with other organizations to build the capacity of people... and communities. This past month I was fortunate to witness two powerful examples of the success of believing in people - Donnel, a young man with Cerebral Palsy started off as a participant in one of TTASPE's projects for persons with disabilities (Ready and Able) - Donnel is now a leader in that project (and an outstanding coach). Kurland was a very shy and intraverted volunteer working in one of TTASPE's community interventions - he is now the president of the Community Based Organization - and doing a great job of leading with humility and committment.

Let's give more people (especially young people) a chance - a meaningful chance..., and let's show them that we believe in them... and let's be patient, because development is a process that takes time...

+ve vibes,
Mark

Meaningful Conversations: Beyond the “Ole Talk”

After a good chat with one of my colleagues this week I started reflecting on the value of conversations (or as we prefer to say in Trinidad - ‘ole talk’). The more I think about it the more I realize how critical conversations are to the development of many dimensions of our lives... and I am really referring to the traditional face to face conversations - the ones where we communicate not only the content of our dialogue (or sometimes monologue), but also the feelings and deeper value of what we speak.

So what makes conversations so valuable - well, here’s where we get an opportunity to share knowledge, ideas, thoughts... and to build on those ideas or refine them or maybe even change our original thinking. The great thing about the conversation is that it flows - it’s back and forth - call and response... and it is in the listening and responding that the new ideas, new ways of thinking, or consolidation of existing thoughts emerge. 

I’m also thinking that the ‘conversational’ possibilities of learning; sharing; creative thinking; critical thinking; entertaining; appreciating... are defined by (but not limited by) those engaged in the conversation. The value of conversations with my children are as varied and potentially rewarding as conversations with my wife, colleagues, strangers... the real value being an awareness that this conversation is a valuable experience and as with most things, the value we get from it is only limited by the value we bring to it - and in the case of conversations, a value that is sincere, honest, meaningful, uninhibited engagement.

Looking forward to more sincere, honest, meaningful, uninhibited conversations with you.

+ve vibes,

Mark

Why worry?

Over the past couple of months our home has been in some major disorder as we're doing some renovations - mainly in the bedroom and toilet/bath area - so workmen in our very personal spaces. As my wife is a school teacher, she (and the kids) were around during the July/August vacation and we hoped the work would be complete before school reopened. Unfortunately, it will probably be another two - three weeks before the work is done. So we've had to leave the workmen unsupervised, with full access to most of our belongings. Well I figure we could spend the day worrying about what they'll steal... maybe some little thing that we probably wouldn't even notice (if they're smart)... or we could just relax and let them know that we trust them... and I figure that if/when we project that trust to strangers, we stand a better chance of generating honesty from them than if we project mistrust.

+ve vibes,
Mark

Sounding Boards

This past week has been challenging in several ways and as I reflect on the week, I recognize that it's really very easy to get trapped into making poor decisions if we allow the prevailing challenges to consume our thoughts in negative ways. Our natural, human, emotional invocations can easily cloud our thinking and lead to rash, knee jerk responses. Sometimes, even after significant self reflection, our thoughts may still be clouded by the initial impressions of the prevailing situation.

Here's where I believe that it's very useful to be surrounded by people who can provide you with meaningful responses and different perspectives on various matters. So, I strongly suggest that when you're faced with difficult challenges, particularly when your personal response system is leaning on the negative side, hold back on your response and bounce it off of someone who you know can be depended on as a sounding board - someone who can provide you with meaningful, thoughful responses and different perspectives.

Sincerest thanks to my 'sounding boards'!

+ve vibes,

Mark

Brotherhood

About 30 years ago I joined the 1st Presentation Sea Scouts and began a journey that probably had the single most significant effect on my life. It was at 'Pres Scouts' that I learned to swim, row, sail, cook (well... ), pitch tents and build campsites out of bamboo, play the drums and bugle... and lots more! We would do three camps each year - including a foreign travel camp - to Venezuela, St Lucia, Barbados, Grenada...

The troop was essentially run by the older students, with a strong emphasis on personal responsibility, leadership and brotherhood... and it was all quite authentic stuff -we didn't role-play - we really had to erect campsites and cook on outdoor firesides as we removed ourselves from civilization for ten days/nights of survival. The lessons in leadership were also real - and the brotherhood that emerged would endure... treasured lifelong friendships.

This week I reconnected with Pres Scouts and the good news is that as I looked on from a distance I recognized the strong underlying elements still running through... despite the distractions and distortions of the modern world... and I am reminded of the powerful influence of traditional institutions.

+ve vibes,

Mark

Judgement

Funny thing how we can easily be blinded in our judgement of people because of perceptions. This morning my 16 year old daughter (Toni) had a squabble with my 12 year old son (Matthew). Now if you knew these kids, 9 out of 10 times Matthew would be the offender (actually, it's closer to 10 out of 10!) - he's just a bit on the mischievous side:). Anyways, when I heard the rumble, I automatically thought that he was up to his usual mischief and was about to reprimand him. As it turned out, Toni, made a judgement of him, without hearing his side - as I was about to do... and after hearing him out, it turned out that he was quite innocent... this time:)

So, Toni, based on her perception that Matts is usually the offender never gave him time to explain himself and as you realize from the trend of this email, so too did I. I guess the lesson learnt here is that we need to learn to be more patient and open to listening and appreciating (and valuing) people - even when we may have a biased perception of them based on past experiences.

+ve vibes,

Mark

Innovation

Pres College Past Students Association (San F'do, Trinidad) organized a Town hall meeting last night to discuss the national budget (presently before parliament). Outstanding contributions from the panelists - unfortunately, not a single student (no staff either) were in attendance!!!

Anyways, what stuck with me was the contribution by the young (but very experienced) Dr. Rolph Balgobin who suggested that if we (T&T) really wanted to move toward developed country status (economically and otherwise), we needed to become more innovative. He noted that it was interesting that the businesses that surrounded the local (well really regional) university (UWI) were mainly accommodation, rum shops (bars) and food outlets! He wondered why there wasn't more evidence of innovative entrepreneurship in close proximity to this tertiary institution - well the answer is simple, UWI by design was never intended to breed innovative thinkers, but rather to maintain the status quo...

The good news is that the newly established (local) university - UTT is free of the history that seems to keep UWI in bondage... and hopefully, we'll begin seeing a new breed of graduates that embrace innovation as an authentic pursuit of excellence... and not only as an academic discourse.

+ve vibes,

Mark

Stop pretending!

I had a discussion this week with a close colleague who runs a small operation that employs about a dozen or so persons. He was faced with the challenge of sending home one of his employees who had not been demonstrating the required quality of work to maintain the standards of the organization. The difficulty here was that my colleague was convinced that the young man had both the skill set and the capacity to deliver... and after repeated attempts at diplomatic persuasion, my colleague had decided that this was just not working. Of course the young employee defended his work ethic and productivity and insisted that he was committed, bla, bla, bla... My position on situations like this is that we need to stop pretending - good leaders need to sometimes cut to the chase and let employees know when they're not meeting the standard... and employees need to be honest... to themselves and to their employers.

The interesting thing for me here is that I figure that when employees truly make valuable contributions to their organizations - they'll feel better about themselves; they'll reflect their true value and they'll surely reap the rewards to which they are entitled... so stop the pretending and let your true value shine through!

+ve vibes,

Mark

Getting things done!

For some time now (a long time really), I've been challenged to manage all of the things that I truly believe that I need to get done (the things that are connected with my purpose in life)... and of course, that hasn't stopped me from taking on more stuff... This week I was sharing with a close colleague the challenges faced with balancing all of the projects that we often take on - so here's the scoop, we can choose to do maybe one or two things and get them done 100% perfectly packaged and completed... or we can choose to get involved in five or six (or ten, twelve....) and do them about 80 - 90% well. I'll go for the five or six and do them 80% well any day... we don't need to be perfectionist - we need to get things done!

+ve vibes,
Mark

Relationships

I'll probably be writing a lot about relationships - I sincerely believe that it's the single most important underlying element in life... and if we really want to progress (to move forward!!!) we need to give consideration to the ways in which we can best facilitate the nurturing of relationships in every realm of life... and that doesn't necessarily mean that we must set out to please everyone... when relationships are strong we are better poised to be objective and honest without fear of fall-out. So how do we nurture positive relationships? Here are my recommendations:

1. Show respect (never be disrespectful) - even if (especially if) you have a different point of view. I see this on a continuum from respecting to appreciating to valuing. As we mature and our relationships mature, we move from respecting (other points of view) - then to appreciating (other points of view) - then to valuing (other points of view).
2. Stick to your principles (but be humble about it). Don't compromise your principles as a strategy for strengthening a relationship.
3. Remain focused on your purpose in life - a purpose driven life facilitates the enhancement of meaningful relationships. It may be difficult to establish meaningful relationships if your life has no purpose.

+ve vibes,

Mark

The Beginning

This represents my first (of hopefully many more) blog postings under the heading of positive vibes... or as I prefer +ve vibes.

So, my intention is to share daily... or maybe weekly experiences - personal ones - and to capture the positive message/s emerging from that/those particular experience/s.

Today was a good one - listening to colleagues try to resolve challenges associated with voluntary work that turns out to be often demanding... and sometimes more (unnecessarily) complicated than we ever anticipated. The two main challenges tend to centre around time and money - we never seem to have enough of either... but we keep a positive outlook and for whatever reason... God alone knows..., we stretch our already overloaded schedules and dip into pockets to ensure that we make the project successful... and when the end product emerges... we know that it was all worth the effort.

+ve vibes,

Mark